There’s no doubting that weddings can be a stress filled mine field! Even for people that don’t suffer from anxiety issues can feel serious stress leading up to the wedding day. Just imagine how it must feel for people that suffer from anxiety in their every day life! Our youngest son has autism & displays issues with anxiety even at 3 years old, so I can definitely relate to trying to avoid anxiety & how to deal with it when it arises.
Here are a few tips to help reduce some of the things in wedding planning & in the wedding day that may trigger anxiety attacks.
Expectations From The Get Go
Planning a wedding can sometimes cause conflict within families & between friends. People that don’t want to sit next to each other, people that think you should do things in a certain way, food choices, supplier choices, etc, etc.
Let people who are coming to the wedding know what to expect. If they know ahead of time what to expect it means you aren’t worrying about whether or not they will like it. It’s easy to build issues up in your mind about your decisions, but stay strong & be confident in them.
Keep It Small
If you suffer from anxiety in social situations the last thing you will want to do is put yourself in front of a hundred people speaking out loud in a quiet room. So with that in mind, keep it small. Invite only people you are close to & whose faces you want to see looking back at you when you get married.
You may even decide to elope with only a few guests as witnesses. (Check out this super intimate elopement I photographed for inspiration!) Then, on your return you could throw a huge party & everyone can have a great time without you being the centre of attention. As a wedding photographer & as a guest I can also stand as a witness if you need me to!
Keep It Simple
Just because you may not like being the centre of attention doesn’t mean you don’t like to have a good party! Limit the amount of moments in the wedding day that you are the focus. Cut out the cake cutting, the first dance & the speeches. Make your day about you & what makes you feel comfortable. There is no right & wrong way to do your wedding. If a venue is trying to push you to do it a certain way then make it clear that’s not going to happen. It’s also a possibility that it’s not the right venue for you. Especially if they can only see it the way they think it should be done.
Another way to limit the focus is to not have a top table. Instead, you could opt for banquet type long tables or set out your table in with your guests rather than ‘at the top’.
Keeping things organised will hopefully go a long way to curb any anxiety attacks. Keep a monthly list of priorities on the run up to your wedding & mark them off when done. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss something off the list, just add it to the next month & keep working through it. Delegation will be your friend in the run up to the wedding day. Ask friends & family to share the work load.
Have a wedding website to help keep your invited guests up to date with preparations & planning (so they can help if they want to). By keeping all the information in one place you can just direct your guests to the website if they have any questions. (This also helps in keeping expectations; see step one!)
Another way to take a load of your mind is to budget for a wedding planner & coordinator. Find one that shares your vision for your wedding day. You need a wedding planner that understands you & I promise they will be worth their weight in gold.
If you are still looking for your wedding photographer & would like to learn more about what I can do for you, then feel free to drop me a line!